Current mood:
anxious
Im sitting here trying real hard not to be pissed off. I am so
SICK of dealing with relationship bullshit. I know that a lot of people
think that my relationship is amusing and I just love it and everything,
but that's not altogether true. Right now I am supremely pissed off
that he would even have the NERVE not to pick up the phone tonight when I
call him. He hasn't answered the phone all DAY. I'd like to think there
is a good reason for this, but I am thinking he probably really doesn't
want to hang out with me later. Well, that would be fine, and all he
had to do was explain that to me. I am enjoying my kick back, laid back
pajama day. Instead, he's leaving me hanging and I can almost say that
there is close to a one hundred pecent chance that he will NOT call
tonight. I am in the frame of mind to just say "fuck it" and watch TV
and just chill out and relax, but I know I'm going to be just the
slightest bit anxious until he calls me. Eventually, I will fall asleep,
but tomorrow will NOT be off on a good start. I hate this shit. I
didn't want a relationship; that's why I wanted to leave my husband in
the first place. Now I'm in one where I am totally insecure, all the
time, and while this comes mostly from me, he has some blame in it too
for some of the things he's done. I shouldn't be worried, and I
shouldn't stress out over it at all, but I am and I hate it. I just wish
he were more mature. I really do. I often wonder if I can deal with
this shit.
Well, I'm off to climb into bed and try to enjoy the
rest of my night without worrying about that little pipsqueak fuckface
boyfriend of mine. Hopefully, I can get some rest. The plan is for him
to spend the night tomorrow. That will remain to be seen, I guess.
Well, at least the pipe is helping.
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