It Goes On
Current mood:
stressed
stressedI got Alexa's report card yesterday. Almost every grade was failing. It has been like this for the last year. I have done everything from talk to her teachers to sending her to school with forms to fill out about her homework, to grounding her, to not grounding her and trying to trust her, to taking away all her books...just everything. Nothing works. She is rude, disrespectful, and I want to beat her fucking ass because she knows what shes doing and she does not care. I dont want to hear that its about Bryan and all the drama going on in my life because although that does affect her, this has been going on before I even knew Bryan. This attitude is a direct result of my dad and his mouth. Hes next on my list to get it.
Yesterday after I informed her that I had her progress report and that she was grounded JUST LIKE WE AGREED TO WHEN I DECIDED TO GIVE HER ANOTHER CHANCE, she became very defiant. I asked her to begin cleaning out her room so she started throwing things everywhere. I ignored it until she started running her mouth and after I asked her repeatedly to just shut up and do what she was told, since she knew it was coming anyway, she kept it going and going. Ricky and Serra both intervened and asked her to stop with her mouth and just do what she was told. I put up with this for about fifteen minutes. Then, I asked her to clean her bathroom which is part of her chores which she NEVER, EVER does unless I remind her and it hasnt been done in over a month because lately I have not had the energy to constantly remind her. She wandered around the house for fifteen minutes, playing in the sink, and defiantly telling us that she couldnt "find" something to clean with. We told her that if we could find something to clean with so could she. This went on and on. I kept telling her to go clean the bathroom, she kept standing there and playing in the kitchen sink and telling me she couldnt find anything to clean with. Finally, I got pissed and told her that if she was going to act like that I didnt want to be around her.She took it upon herself to go to my Dads without permission but he wasnt home,and when she came back I told her that if she did not do what I asked her to do that I was going to call the sheriffs department and have her taken away. I meant it. I still mean it. She stopped running her mouth but she absolutely refused to do anything I asked her. EVen though I took away all her priviliges and all her electronics and all her games, she decided that she was going to just go ahead and keep her IPod, even though she KNEW she was supposed to give it to me. She ended up giving it back to me last night, but she never did clean the bathroom. When my dad did get home and she went over there, he was somehow under the impression that I had kicked her out so he went off on her, ABOUT ME, and when she came home and told me what he said I called him. As soon as the answering machine came on and I started talking, he picked up the phone and threatened to call the police on me. I pointed out to him that its funny how he can make a judgment based on what she says but hes supposed to be MY father and backing ME up, but instead hes sitting there telling my daughter, "Your mother this, your mother that." No wonder she doesnt fucking respect me. He hung up on me before I could get that out, though. I shouldnt be surprised. My father the drunk likes to make judgments about people. Like I said, hes next on my list to be told to fuck off.
And whats funny is that when I called my grandma later on, she already knew about it because my dad called her. Called my 90 year old grandma for what? Hes so despicable. He has never cared about me a day in my life, only about the dollar signs I can bring him. Now that Im of no use to him, Ive been discarded and back to being regarded as a big old piece of shit. How he can sit there and badmouth me to my own kid is beyond me, especially when he knows the problems that have been going on here. I can get Alexa to listen to me, but not after shes just been fed full of shit. Isnt he supposed to support me and back me up? All she does when she goes over there is watch TV. Hes sucked her into his little fantasy world and shes the only one who cares about it so hes latching on to her. It makes me very sick. When shes under punishment, I still let her spend the night over there. I just found out that when she goes over there, he "ungrounds" her because, as she put it, he says, "Well, you didnt do it over here." Inconsistent.
So Im pretty pissed off right now. I went to bed kind of early and I was up at six again. I just couldnt fall back asleep. I have so much on my mind and I feel really stressed right now.
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