JANUARY 4TH, 2007

None

Current mood:depressed

I woke up a little after seven this morning, completely awake and feeling all tied up in knots. In my last entry, I said I didn't know how much longer I can take this. My palms are sweating, I feel like I'm freezing to death when I know it's warm enough in here, and my chest feels so tight. I can't take another day like this.

I don't know where to go, what to do, who to talk to. All I want to do is run. I want to disappear. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I don't want to feel, period. I have never been so alone in my life. Shawn hasn't even called to check on me, and I could always rely on him. I could die in this house, and no one would really know right away, that's how isolated I am. I feel so sick, so alienated, and totally crushed.

Jesus Christ, I am overwhelmed. And with no one to take over for me, I don't know what's going to happen. But I don't think I;m strong enough to withstand this. I really don't. I simply can't take any more.