Reckonings
Current mood:
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contentI also finally took Alexa shopping today. I cant believe how big shes getting. I bought her a pair of jeans off the clearance rack and when she put them on at home, she started freaking out. "These are skinny jeans! Oh my GOD I HATE skinny jeans! I HATE THEM!" I was like, "Well, all right Alexa. Calm down. Ill take them back and get you some new jeans tomorrow. Sheesh." I didnt know what the fuck she meant by skinny jeans until I noticed that the tag on them said "skinny jeans." This mean that they are skin tight and straight legged---kinda like the jeans I wore when I was her age, except I wore mine stone washed with a rip in the knee and a huge, shapeless, oversized sweatshirt. Sometimes the jeans would even have ZIPPERS up the ankle. Hahahaha. Ugh.
We were going to eat lunch out, too, but I didnt feel too comfortable in the mall and Alexa and her friend Mollie said that they wanted McDonalds, so I stopped at one on our way home. After they got their food, and we were walking out, I listened to the them giggle and was then shocked to hear Mollie say, "Alexa, that guy was totally looking at your butt."
Heres some other funny things I've seen and heard. When I was talking to my grandmother on the phone on the subject of my recent "suicide" attempt, she said, "Why didn't you just take the easy way out and throw yourself into a river or something?" Without missing a beat I said, "Because, Memo, I can swim."
Tonight, while watching "I Love New York", Alexa said, "Oh my gosh, I cant believe she picked Chance over Boston. He's such a fag." Of course, I said, "ALEXA! You know thats not acceptable, right?" But inside, I was laughing...because I heard my kid say the word "fag." She doesnt even say the word "sexy" around me because she feels like its a bad word. LOL.
And, I gotta hand it to her. Living with me can NOT be easy. But shes done it for so long now, she knows how to manage. Now that shes older, I am more honest with her about whats going on, so she knows what to do. The other day, I was on the phone arguing loudly with Bryan and pacing around my room. She came to my door to ask me something and I pointed toward the door, indicating for her to leave. She did, and when she closed the door behind her, I got so angry with the conversation that I was having that I began to deliberately kick my bedroom door...out. I kicked and kicked that motherfucker, until it smashed through on the other side, and then fell to the floor in a limp pile of wood, door frame and all. Alexa, without glancing up from her book, sighed, and then said, "Nice job, Mom," with a perfect tone of annoyance.
And lastly, here is a perfect example of my daughters extremely witty yet bitterly sarcastic sense of humor. One night, Bryan and Alexa got into a debate over whether or not she was going to the grocery store with us. She didnt want to go, we wanted her to go. She dropped down dramatically on the floor and declared that she wasnt moving from that spot. An argument then ensued about school, and how the two of them got onto that subject I dont know, but this is how it went.
Bryan: Alexa, if you want to college, you have to finish school first. You have to start getting good grades now if you want to go to college.
Alexa: Uh, college is school.
Bryan: No it isnt.
Alexa: Yes it is. When my Mom was going to school, she always said she was going to go to school, or class, not "college." She never said, "I'll see you when I get home from college."
Bryan: Well, so? That doesn't mean that its not called college. Your mom didnt invent the English language. Maybe a LOT of people say they go to college.
Alexa: What? God, why dont you go back to school?
Bryan: Why dont you go back to school?
Alexa: (dead serious, dry tone) Uh, I can't go back to school right now. It's after eight o clock at night and the doors are locked.
Thats my kid!
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