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Thursday, February 14, 2008

End of the Road.....?

Well, despite my best efforts to keep my life on a positive note, this roller coaster life of mine just will not come to a complete stop. I no longer feel like detailing everything on this website, just because I am tired of venting my pain to no avail.

All that I will say is that things are not as bad as they could be. Nor are they are bad as they have been in the past. Things are....just the way they are, although this time I feel that a major change is coming at me like a runaway train in the dark. I can't help but get run over by it, but at least I have some time to prepare for the worst case scenario. And the worst case scenario....could be...worse. I can't lie and pretend that I never saw this coming, because I did. My sense of people is very keen, and I can usually sense when something is going to happen long before it does, such as what's happening right now. I'm sad, and upset, and angry, and frustrated...but at least I understand it. Well, most of it. I'm not sitting here throwing coke up my nose or drinking my life away or popping pills like candy...but I am devastated, heartbroken, sick with loss. I knew it was coming. Now I just have to cope with it.

All I want is to have my life back. I just want my life back.