Current mood:
crushed
Right now, I am so depressed I can't stand it. I can't believe how
much time I've spent alone in the last two days. I miss Bryan so
much...damn, I never knew love could hurt like
this. I want no part of it. How I wish I could seperate myself from the situation, but it's impossible. I am actually being
forced to feel. I don't
want to
feel these things; I'd rather not love at all. I am keeping it together
for the sake of my kid, but I can't hide the fact that something is
very wrong. I can't do the simplest of things without falling apart. I
swear to God, in all my 29 years, I have never felt like this with
anyone else. Bryan has been such a big part of me that it feels like I
am only half a person without him. The most recurring thought I have is:
I can't deal. I can't deal with this.I
feel so horrible for hurting him like I did. I don't know if we can
recover from this, and we have overcome some things it takes other
people years to defeat. We've been one hell of a team, minus the
fighting amongst ourselves. I don't know how I can go on without him. I
can't imagine my life without him in it. I dread going to bed tonight
because it will be the second night that I haven't had the chance to lie
next to him. I don't know if I can survive another day like this, I
really don't.
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