It's a beautiful day. Snow is blowing everywhere, and the ground is slowly but surely turning white. I've been wandering around aimlessly all day, trying to find something to do. I have a little homework to do, but none of that sounds enticing right now. I'd rather sit here by this window and watch the snow come down.

So, anyway, today I'm kind of aimless, like I said. So I got on the computer and started looking people up in the criminal system. (It seems as if every ex boyfriend I ever had and every friend of mine from the Eastside are locked up, have been locked up, or are going to be locked up.) I decided to type in the name of my twin's father. (The twins are 7 now.) I haven't talked to him since the day they were born. We never had a relationship, but I don't really have anything bad to say about him. I mean, we didn't really know each other...it was kind of a three night stand. LOL. Not only that, but he was three years younger than me. Before I found out I was pregnant, he went back to his on again, off again girlfriend, Miss Trash. I never liked her because she was so dumb, but after she found out I was pregnant she made life really difficult. She wouldn't let George take my phone calls and would instead scream at me that the babies weren't George's because twins didn't run in his family. What the dumb bitch didn't realize is that men don't carry the genes for twins..women do. I tried to explain that twins run in my family to no avail. I think the saddest thing about it was that she was 34 years old, I was 20, and George was 17. He was a good kid, I think. About a month before the twins were born he'd go to his mom's and call me to make sure everything was okay and to ask if there was anything he could do. When I made the decision to put them up for adoption, he became very upset and began begging me not to "give his kids away." I was adamant in my decision because I knew I could not raise them by myself, and I knew he would end up being very little help because of Miss Trash. On the day they were born, I called him on the phone and told him he was welcome to come up to the hospital. He sighed and said, "I don't think so, Sondra." He sounded extremely depressed. I sent pictures of the babies to his mother for the first year of their lives and his mother told me he carried them in his wallet. I have not talked to him since but I have thought about him often, hoping that he was okay. Like I said, I don't have anything bad to say about him.

So today, I type his name in under an inmate search, and he pops up. I know I have searched his name before, but I guess I was spelling it wrong or something because this offense was dated from 2003. He's been discharged from probation, but he was convicted of FOURTH DEGREE CRIMINAL SEXUAL CONDUCT...FORCE OR COERCION. What???? Talk about being shocked. George? I realize I didn't know him all that well, but from what I remember, he was a gentle person with a big mouth who took care of his mom and sister. Criminal sexual conduct? So I decided to do some more investigating. I did a record search under his name and found that he married Miss Trash in July of 2003. That's another shocker. I never thought it would go that far. We met in 1997. I kind of figured he'd be over that old hag by now. So then, I searched her name. Turns out she never changed her last name to George's name and has several tickets for DWLS. She was also hauled into court by her finance company for defaulting on the mortgage that was in her grandmother's name. (I hope at 41 I don't have to put anything in anyone else's name, so help me God.) And the big shocker was that she was the one who pressed charges on George for criminal sexual conduct, then married him six months later before his conviction and sentencing. WHAT? WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

Thank God I chose not to raise my children in that kind of environment. During one of our conversations, I came right out and told George, "It's not you. I know that you and I could work on our friendship enough to be good parents to our children. I have faith in you. What I do not have is faith in her. She's trash." George responded with, "I know. I guess I understand. I'm just asking you to reconsider."

Thank God I didn't. Can you imagine having to explain to my five year olds that Daddy is going to jail? And for God knows what? I know without knowing the whole situation that he didn't do it. That's the kind of bitch she was. She must've talked him into marrying her real quick in order to save him from going to jail. She must've thought that would look good to the court. Like I said, thank God my children are not worrying about their Daddy being in jail. He would have hated for his children to see that.

I keep trying to look him up on the sex registry but the site is down right now. I'm going to keep on trying. Yeah, I'm kind of curious to see what he looks like now. I vaguely remember what he looked like then. His description on the offender page says that he has eleven tattoos and is 6' tall and 210 pounds. I can't imagine him being 210 pounds. The last time I saw him, he was about two inches shorter and probably forty pounds or so lighter. I remember thinking he was skinny. Alexa, who was three at the time, called him, "George-with-the-eyebrow-ring." LOL.

I'm going to keep on passing the time. Maybe I'll do some homework. (But most likely not.)