I am testing this to see if it will work. As you can see, I am not very skilled at blogspot yet, which is why I haven't adverstised it so far. I am checking to see if this is a viable way to post pictures with an entry. I hope it works.

This is me and my husband sometime early last year. He doesn't always look psycho. LOL. Matter of fact, he rarely looks psycho. I've only seen him look psycho once and that was when he inadvertently read my post about Heath. As soon as I saw the first anonymous post, I knew it was him. I cannot describe the gut wrenching feeling I had. I never, ever wanted to hurt this man, because he really is a kind and gentle soul who loves me completely even with all my faults that probably piss him off on a daily basis. He lets me do whatever I want to do, spend as much money as I want to spend, and does anything I ask him to do. Oh, and did I mention that he just loves the laundry? No, my marriage isn't always a great one, but I love my husband. Sometimes I wonder if we're a perfect fit. Sometimes I wonder if we rushed into marriage without thinking? (We only knew each other for four months before we got married.) It's a struggle sometimes, because even after being married for almost three years, I am still the kind of person who is happier alone than sharing my space with someone. I think I was still upset over my break up with the panty wearing faggot and rushed into a relationship with Shawn. Not that the relationship itself is a bad thing, but I am normally a very conscientious person who doesn't rush into serious decisions. However, even though it's been hard, I'm glad I did it, because Shawn is really good to me. I really haven't been with anyone that loves me like he does. So I wanted to clear that up so I don't come across as a cold hearted bitch.

Yes, I know this is my journal and my intent was to keep it a secret from him so I would have a chance to vent. But then stupid me posted the link on my old journal that he reads, so he innocently followed the link and the first thing he read was my post about Heath..and on his 30th birthday, no less. So I felt pretty small, because I would rather kill myself than hurt him. We fought pretty bad that day.

So, Shawn, I want you to know I love you. And I DO appreciate you. And now I'm going to end this post and go into the bedroom and cuddle with you because you are the cuddliest person I know.