The Disappearing Act

The last few days have been pretty fun. I had Alexa and her friend Mollie at my house and even though they once again ate all my food and drank all my soda and stayed up all night giggling, we had fun.

This morning when I woke up I called Bryan to see if he had plans for tonight. He had said he might play poker with his best friend, which he usually does two or three times a week. I replied, "Well, do you got any money for me?" to which he got pissed off and hung up on me. I didn't get mad, but I sat there and thought about that for a minute. I do everything for this boy..loan him money when he needs it, I do his damn laundry, buy him clothes, make sure he gets fed, pay for his haircuts, help his family with their needs, and drive him everywhere he needs to go. Basically, my life has been revolving around Bryan's wants and needs and today I decided I had had enough. So, I got up, took a shower, packed a bag, and called my sister in Illinois and informed her that I was coming to visit. Then I brought the girls back home. I am printing out directions right now. I am not going to tell Bryan where I am or what I'm doing. That drives him nuts anyways, and if he can't get a hold of me for three whole days, he might just get a taste of what life without me would be like. Maybe he'll think about that the next time he decides to hang up on me. When he called me back a little later, I said to him very calmly, "Please don't hang up on me again. That is very rude and you know I don't like it. Not to mention that I didn't deserve it, and I don't treat you like that. So please don't do it again." He put on his innocent happy voice and said that he hung up like that because his boss was coming. I know better, but I am not going to push it. He will learn this weekend when I am not at his beck and call that he cannot take me for granted. I have allowed that to happen and now I have to fix it. No biggie. This ought to be an easy lesson to teach, since he is still basically an ADOLESCENT.

Other than that, I am in a pretty good mood. I havem y good days and my bad days. There are days, especially when Bryan is not around me, when reality seeps in a bit and I start panicking about what I'm doing. I think about Shawn a lot sometimes and it can be a challenge, not coming out here to spend time with him when I want to, but I don't because it could be misleading. Some days, like I said, are better than others.

So there is my update. To my cousin Andyro who donated TEN INCHES of her long and beautiful hair to children who need wigs due to hair loss from cancer...you are an ANGEL. I think that was a wonderful thing to do. God will bless you MANY TIMES OVER for such an unselfish act. I love you!!!