Update

I haven't written for so long because I have been going though some major stress. Sometimes I wonder if it is ever going to end. I'm going to make it short, otherwise some hater will surely accuse me of whining. (Fuck you, is what I have to say.)

First of all, me and Bryan fought for almost a whole week. One night, he decided he wanted to go out with his friends to the bar and not tell me, so he waited until I went in the bathroom and then bolted out the door. That led to a fight that lasted for almost two days, and just when things had calmed down, we made plans to go out which didn't work out because we started bickering at the grocery store and by the time we got home HE decided he didn't want me to go out with him so we fought again. I was suspicious of this happening twice in one week and did what any sane, rational, normal girl would do.....I punched him in the face. A few times. This led to us not seeing each other for a couple of days and I had nothing but time to sit there and feel bad about it. Just in the last two days we seem to be getting back to good, which is a big relief for everyone.

Yesterday, though, we came out to Fenton to see Alexa's first basketball practice. I came into the bedroom to activate Alexa's new cell phone and Bryan stayed in the living room, playing with Alexa's dog, Riley. Once I finished activating her phone, I came out into the living room and played with Riley for a while too. At one point, I stood up and Feather, our parrot, decided to jump on my shoulder. He doesn't do this to me often, since he prefers Shawn and my dad to me any day. But every once in a while, he'll let me give him some attention.

So anyway, this crazy ass bird decides to jump on my shoulder, which was fine, except he lost his grip on my shirt and slipped. When he slipped, he instinctively grabbed my arm with his beak and sunk it right down into the fleshy part of my upper arm. Screaming in pain, I backed up against the cage which is usually his cue to get back into it, but he was panicking also and flapping his wings and not paying attention to his cage. I was screaming at Bryan to "get the bird!" but he didn't know what to do, since he has never handled birds before. Riley began jumping up and down at my feet, scaring Feather even more. He lost his balance and fell to the floor, at which point that stupid fucking dog attacked him. Bryan grabbed the bird, I grabbed the dog and hurled him across the house, but it was too late. Hysterical, I ordered Bryan to go get my dad and then ran into my bedroom where I wouldn't have to look at Feather. Bryan had picked Riley up and threw him into Alexa's bedroom before he left, so I didn't have to worry. I called my Dad even though I knew Bryan was on his way over there---I was hysterical and didn't know what to do. My dad came running over and came into the bedroom trying to talk to me, but I kept screaming at him to go get Feather, my arm is okay, just see about Feather, I am so sorry, it's all my fault, etc. I saw my dad pick Feather up off the floor and cradle him like a baby. He was crying, and I knew that my bird was gone. Feather, who has been part of our lives for over twenty years. Feather, who chose the wrong day to finally get some attention from me.

I hate that fucking dog.

So now I am trying to come to terms with losing the best animal I ever had. I haven't even spoke to my father yet because I know he's just heartbroken. I feel responsible somehow. I miss Feather's incessant clucking. But at least I know that he knows he had a happy life. He was very loved.

And as for that dog, I may never forgive him. I know animals are animals, blah blah blah. But still...