Holiday Cheer

Yesterday, I received a frantic phone call from an old friend, asking me to come pick her and her children up and drive them to the Safe House. (Which is a battered woman's shelter.) I knew this call had been coming for a while, I just didn't know when she would have the guts to do it. Her husband, who has issues to deal with that he hasn't yet, has began smoking crack and taking the family down with it. He sold the family vehicle (which wasn't paid off yet), lost his job, and sold their food stamps and spent their state assistance cash on drugs. Last night, he came home drunk and angry after being up (and away from home) for over 24 hours, drinking and drugging. Angry because my friend had a measly five dollars left that she managed to hold on to, he wrestled her to the ground (in front of their children, both under the age of four) and physically assaulted her...for five dollars. I guess this was the last straw and that's when she decided to call me. All she said was, "Come get me. Now." I knew what that meant. I explained to Mike and Kristi, very quickly, what was going on and, in order to have some extra protection, I asked Mike and Kristi to pray for us. I was scared of what I was going to walk into, and I knew I was going to need the strength to face it. So Mike, Kristi, Bryan, Alexa, and I all joined hands in the living room and said a quick but powerful prayer asking for protection and strength. I have to admit that it did make me feel better.

When I got there, her husband had come back from wherever he was and was combative about her leaving. He slammed the door and locked us out of the house so that she couldn't take their children. (I walked right up the front door and faced him, knowing that he had threatened to "kill" me if I walked out with his wife and kids.) I brought her out to my car and calmly called the police. While I was explaining to 911 that he refused to give over the kids even though it was obvious he'd been drinking, he shoved the two kids out the door and slammed it shut. My friend rushed up and grabbed them and hustled them to the car. We sat and waited for about fifteen minutes for the police, and while I was calling them back, her husband left the house, making it a point to lock it up and take the keys with him, knowing she did not have HER set of keys. She told me to explain to them that he had a VOP warrant (Violation of Probation) and I did. A few minutes later, the police showed up, asked her some questions, and drove off. They came back a short while later and told her that they had found her husband and took him into custody. I watched the relief cross her face, and I hoped that I never knew how that felt....feeling relieved that the person you love most in the world is in cuffs and is being locked in a cage. How awful. Anyway, the police advised her to stay the night at home, since he wasn't going anywhere for the time being, and make her escape with some planning. As it turns out, that was very good advice, because that's exactly what she did. When I arrived at her house today, she was packed and ready to go. I took one box of her sentimental items, and her brother took two. She packed what she needed and said "fuck the rest." She wrote him a letter, telling him that she loved him but that she wanted her husband back. She asked him to get help and seek therapy. She assured him she would reconsider the marriage if he would consider change. She left it on the kitchen table so he would see it.

I dropped her and the kids off and felt emotional as I watched them walk into the building. How sad it must be to spend your Christmas in a shelter. But then I considered all the things that are going to happen to her now....counseling, job placement assistance and training, a clean, safe place to live, child care, relocation assistance, emergency state relief, and a state aid vehicle purchasing program....I thought, well, hell, that won't be too bad at all. Not at all. I felt a little bit better when I drove away.