Before and After

It almost hurts to look at this picture of me up there. Look at how FAT I was. Holy shit, dude! This picture was taken in August of 2005, when I was so fat that I had no other choice but to pay extra for first class whenever I flew on an airplane because I was so uncomfortable in coach seats. This was when I could put down so much food in one sitting it was ridiculous. I started this journal shortly after this pic of me was taken.

This is what I look like now. Of course, I dont have a full length picture because I havent taken one in so long. I'm used to shying away from the camera, but now that I'm losing weight and it shows, it's not so scary to see myself in graphic detail. I wrote a whole entry about it in my other journal that I have and I thought I would cheat and copy and paste it here:

Other changes
Current mood: ecstatic

"I stepped on the scale today for the first time in a while, and was shocked and amazed to see that I am steadily losing weight still. I dont know why, because I eat pretty good, but I havent been drinking a lot of pop and shit like that. I stick to water or tea most times. Last year, I started keeping a diet journal because I found myself at a whopping 308 pounds. I couldnt believe it. It all started when I got married. The wonderful man that my husband is, our marriage was boring by my standards and I did nothing but stuff my face. I was HUGE.

Anyway, I have been losing weight steadily all year long, but not alarmingly so. I will admit that it is a big mystery why all of a sudden it is falling off, but I dont care. Today, I stepped on the scale, as I said earlier, and I now weigh 57 pounds lighter than I did this time last year. 57 pounds! I can tell the difference in the way my clothes fit, which is to say pretty much all of my pants are too big, but I didnt realize how much better I look because we dont have a full length mirror here. Last night, Bryan and I went to the lesbian bar with some friends of ours, and I dressed up in a black low cut top, jeans, and black boots. I wore my hair down and scrunched it all up. When I walked out of the bathroom, Bryan wore a stunned expression and said, "Damn! You look GOOD!" He meant it, too, and that made me feel so nice! When I was in the bathroom at the bar, I checked myself out in the full length mirror and while I still have a ways to go, I can see the difference myself. All I can say is...I like it. Much better.

So thats my happy news I wanted to share. Pretty soon I will post a full sized picture of myself on here. I would like to post more than one so I can see how I looked before and after. For once in my life, I dont cringe when someone pulls out a camera and says, 'Let's take a picture!' "