What's Up

I took this picture about three and a half years ago. Shawn and I were driving over to his parent's house and suddenly this little guy jumped out of the vent and into his lap. He didn't like that too much, and after I stopped laughing hysterically, I pulled over to try and help the little guy go back to nature. He didn't want to, so when we got to Shawn's parent's house, I recruited Alexa to get him out of the car. She showed absolutely no fear, coaxed the little guy out of the car, and didn't even complain when he peed in her hand. She set him out in the grass and away he went. I still wonder how he got in the car in the first place? I took this picture while we were parked because he jumped back into the air conditioning vent so we turned the air on full blast and he got stuck. Poor guy.

This week was interesting. Last Sunday night I had an attack of pain on my right side that was so intense and so painful that I couldn't breathe or speak. I walked around in circles, thinking it might be gas, but it didn't go away so I laid down on the couch on my stomach and it kind of went away a little bit. I felt drained and shitty afterward, so on Tuesday when I went to work, I worked a half a day and then came home and slept half the afternoon. On Wednesday morning, I woke up all tied up with anxiety, thrashing and tossing and turning, still not feeling well. I was crying hysterically so Bryan called my boss and told her that he was taking me to the ER. When we got there they hooked me up to all kinds of machines and put oxygen in my nose. Once they figured out that I didn't suffer a minor heart attack, as was originally thought, they determined through a urinalysis that I am having trouble with my gallbladder, which would explain the attack of pain I had. They gave me some medicine but I have to follow up with it. I spent the rest of the day Wednesday in bed and when I woke up Thursday I had some of my energy back. The last two days of the work week were uneventful but I am looking forward to going back on Monday so I can get myself back on track.

Eating is no longer fun, because certain things cause me a lot of pain. I don't know yet what to avoid, besides the obvious, like fast food, so it's kind of trial and error. I had steak and salad the other day and that really caused me some pain, but not until 2:00 in the morning. Let me tell you how much fun that was. I am getting really sick of all these medical problems but they're all piling up because I don't have medical insurance yet so I'm just kind of neglecting myself until I can afford my medications and the doctor visits. My energy level is very low, I have headaches a lot, and I am really swelling up from not having my thyroid medicine. I am not gaining any weight, however, I do look like I am because I am retaining so much water. I weigh myself about once a month and I have gained nine pounds since I've been in Florida but THAT'S IT. The reason why I'm not gaining huge amounts of weight right now is because I am off of my prescribed mood stabilizer, and that particular medicine does cause dramatic weight gain. Too bad I know this now instead of four years ago when I began taking it regularly. I gained something like 70 pounds or so, but I've lost most of that since I quit taking it. I am struggling with it right now because I know I am supposed to be taking something, but I just can't afford it, so as soon as my insurance kicks in, which will be early next month, I'll be making appointments all over the place. I really can't wait. Not only that, but I finally have dental coverage so I'll be getting my teeth professionally cared for for the first time in...fourteen years? Yeah, fourteen years. W O W. I guess I better get over the fear of dentists, because I'll bet you anything that a few painful procedures are ahead of me.

Well, that's it for an update for now.

Later,
Mz Bowailey

BUSY!

Does anyone else see the resemblance? LOL

Sorry that I haven't updated for a while. I've been working on another project and kind of abandoning my own personal journal. Today I decided it was finally time to update.

The job is going great! I am a whole different person than I was at this time a year ago. I cannot tell everyone how good it feels to go to work and be able to buy the things I need when I need them. My car has decided to go to shit, but it doesn't worry me because I know I can get a new car if I need one, with my OWN money. My bills are finally paid and now I feel like I can start fresh with everything. Bryan is finally working, and he couldn't be happier. He's making more money per hour than he's ever made, and he's making new friends. He hasn't earned a paycheck in a year, and I've already lost track of all the things he's going to do with his paycheck. (Gimme some money! Gimme some money! LOL) Our schedule works out great. On Mondays and Tuesdays, he has to be to work at 7, so I just get up early and get ready for work and take him to work and hang out at the house by myself until I have to leave, which isn't until about a quarter after eight. Then I pick him up on my lunch hour. Then he has Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday off which allows him the time to run errands and other such things that I hate to do. For instance, one errand that he has to run this week is GROCERY SHOPPING, something we have both agreed that we CANNOT do together. I can't stand the grocery store and Bryan likes to take his time, so I handed that chore over to him. On Saturdays I get up and take him to work at 7 or 8, then I come home and clean the house...dusting, baseboards, dishes if there are any, laundry, floors, etc. That usually takes me a few hours, and then when he comes in we make dinner and hang out. On Sundays, when I take him to work, I try to find something to do. Last Sunday I took Serra and Bella out to brunch, which was a lot of fun. Can't do that this week because I'm too broke, or I would.

Being in a routine has really done wonders for the state of my mental health. I cannot lie in bed at all. I've tried. It's Monday, Labor Day, my day off, and here it is 7:35 A.M. and I've been up for an hour. I'm raring to go! I don't like sleeping in too late anymore. Most of the time I'm up by 7:30 on days that I don't have to work, and that is just fine with me. I had all of 2006 to lie around and sleep until three o clock in the afternoon. Now I try to find productive things to do. It improves my well being to feel that I'm accomplishing things. I call it "Sondra Therapy." LOL. Hey, I know what works for me.

Things are not perfect, and I don't know if they ever will be, but they ARE perfect compared to where I started from. I am happy and I feel stable and settled for the first time in a long time. Bryan and I are homesick like hell and being away from everyone is really miserable. Every day we wish we could be back at home. But we both know that we wouldn't have gotten this far at home. We had to change our environment. Moving down here has saved our relationship, and I guess it was just something we felt we had to do. Now that we're here, we're finally a normal, stable, and functioning team. I really want to start my own business someday, so there is a remote possibility that we will end up going back home, but not right now. I have a great job with wonderful benefits and I work with the best people I've ever worked with. I feel like we are part of a family. I've been open with my boss about my past: the drug use, the fighting, everything. That took some pressure off of me because, as it turns out, everyone that I work with has went through something similar. Now we just apply all that negative energy to work, which is why we are all moderately successful and good at what we do. Like my boss said at our meeting on Friday: everyone here has their own talent. I enjoy working and I look forward to going to work most of the time. It is NICE to be able to work. I appreciate every day now.

So that's it on the life of the Bowaileys. Everything is settled down and now my relationship is finally where I want it to be. Life, for the moment, is good.

Happily,
Mz Bowailey