It's Been a LONG Time!

Well, guess who's back?? That's right, the Bowailey's are back. It's been a long time, but we had to take a little hiatus for a while. A LOT of shit was going on, and I chose to take down my website because of certain people, namely my cousin Sarah. I was afraid she would read my journal and use shit against me. To make a long story short, she tried to pull Bryan away from me and it worked, just not to her advantage and not for a long period of time. Little did I know that Sarah would be the least of my worries.

I have since found out that I have was cheated on sometime at the end of January. Bryan and I got into a nasty altercation in March. A couple of them. We were broke up, but we still saw each other from time to time and he always told me how much he loved me and how much he missed me but we were like oil and water, man. Not good together. However, a couple of days after hearing about how much he loves me and misses me, I dropped by his house (I had a reason, I'm just not going to detail it here) and, to make a long story short, he had a girl over there. A nasty one who had !TITS! popping out all over. Needless to say, I flipped out. Because I really didnt think things could get any worse than the Sarah situation. But they did, dramatically. I restrained myself from beating her ass but I DID try to run him over. After that, I completely fucking avoided having anything to do with his ass and started making plans to move back to Pensacola. One night, I went out with Lynn and Bryan's best friend, who is ALSO my friend, Dave, and we accidentally ran into Bryan at the same place. I was looking around for !TITS! but I didn't see her. He actually ended up being there with ANOTHER girl, this one was real ugly but she at least had enough respect for herself to dress decently. AND she left me alone, which was a very smart choice. This is another long story, but I'm going to make it short. He ended up leaving the bar with me that night. Not because we were intoxicated, which we were NOT. He approached me, and we began talking (it must have been the pills I was taking because, at the time, I totally hated his fucking guts) and one thing led to another and his hand was on my leg and we were laughing and talking and I forgot all about the girl he was with who was off in the corner calling everyone on her cell phone. I heard this from the bartender afterwards, who thought it was funny. We've been together ever since. Reparations have been made, apologies made and accepted, and I am trying hard to move on.

It's harder than I thought it would be. Little things keep popping up to remind me of !TITS! and the fact that he had sex with her more than once. It makes me sick to think that all the nights I was home alone, crying, wishing I was dead, and drinking myself to death he was running around with this saggily endowed moo cow and fucking her. And taking pictures of her moobs, which is MY word for "cow tits." And leaving them on his phone, which is how I found them. Yes, I was snooping. I have every god damn right to. Period. Finding the picture of her is actually a new development. I am so fucking mad about that that I slept on the couch last night. I still don't feel like being anywhere near him, which is good since he's not here. He's working right now.

He was using the phone I gave him to text message bitches, most of whom I didn't know, and one girl in particular who he admits he kissed one night WHILE he was living with me. Then he goes off and kisses MY COUSIN, who is also a dirty ass no respect having bitch. THEN I find him with !TITS! and after that, the other girl who I don't have a mean name for since she didn't do anything to me really. I kinda felt sorry for her. It must suck to spend some time with a guy and think it's all going well, only to have him dump you in front of all your friends in a public place to be with his ex girlfriend, who only days before was his sworn enemy. I'm not being sarcastic here. I'm sure she got over it. She SHOULD be thanking me.

But with the exception of his obvious disregard for my feelings regarding !TITS! he's actually been pretty good. He's been making serious efforts to grow up and be a man instead of the baby I've been coddling him into being. He's been warmer, more sensitive, and definitely more considerate. I feel like we've gotten a lot closer and, likewise, we've matured together. However, today I am pissed off. It's not like before where I was like, "Oh baby, oh baby, I need you, blah blah blah." Now I let him know that he can walk out that door forever and NOTHING can hurt as bad as what he's already put me through. I am prepared for anything.

So, that's a Bowailey update. I have more but I don't have time to write it all right now. I have to get ready for a couple of job interviews that I have today, back to back. Wish me LUCK!