Blah Blah Blah

My life is SO fucking boring. I was reading through some of my entries from like, two years ago, and my life is really dull compared to what it used to be. I hardly ever leave home, except to go to work. Then sometimes I go grocery shopping. It's not that I don't want to go out and do stuff; it's just that there really is nothing to do and no one to do it with. I have friends but they all have smaller kids than me so going out and doing stuff usually requires a lot of bullshit, so I just avoid it altogether. Honestly, I don't think I will ever be as active as I was when I was living back in Fenton. All my friends and family are there and it's never a dull moment. Here, every moment is dull.

At least my job is interesting. I've been there almost eight months. It's not really my dream job, but it sure is entertaining. That should tell you how boring it is here. I know that when I look back at this phase of my life I will laugh at how much my life is centered around my job. I love working with all these different personalities. I love being able to have a job where I can tell my co workers to fuck off with no ramifications. (And I have.) I like being in an environment where I am encouraged to be myself, rather than sucking up to corporate assholes, which I only have to do occasionally. I do it well.

There is always some kind of drama going on. I love drama as long as it's not centered around me...I hate that shit but I am a bit of a gossip hound. I know who's fighting with their spouse, I know who's banging the manager, etc. I swear to God I only go to work to see what happens next. Never, ever a dull moment. And I really enjoy having regular customers who know me and know about certain aspects of my life; it appeals to my Taurus side to have such a routine. I am good at what I do and I like it; I am more physically active now than I ever have been. Now if only I could motivate myself to stay active AFTER work. I also meet some very interesting people who make me wish I was single and easily available, but my luck is not that good! LOL!

The truth is, I can't pay my bills, but I never stop working. I pay what I can and move on to the next priority. I've had my car repossessed. (I never got it back because I couldn't afford that payment, anyway.) I bought an OLD beater truck that I love and it gets me to work every day. I have my roof over my head, even if barely, but I still manage. Now, I suffer from all kinds of stress related maladies: heartburn, headaches, even really bad carpal tunnel syndrome. I pop my dollar store acid reducer or the ibuprofen I stole from the break room at work and then I move on. Fuck it. I'm not going to die if shit doesn't go my way. Period. I think this is what being in your thirties is all about: Starting to realize that some shit is important and some shit isn't. Being able to tell the difference is what makes you mature.

Reflectively,
Mz. Bowailey