Important Information

As most of you know, I read several blogs on a daily basis. Sometimes not so daily, but I always go back and read anything that I may have missed. Today I was reading one of my blogs and came across a post about how important it is to take care of your mental health. My mental health is something I have been neglecting for a while, mostly due to lack of insurance or resources, but I am slowly turning it around and trying to get the help I need. I struggle with major depression and panic disorder as well, I just don't talk about it much for the same reasons that Dooce addresses in her post--the stigma attached to it, and the fear of admitting failure. But her post put things into perspective, and I related to it. If you're interested, please click here.

New Year, New Face

Well, it's 2008. I have been waiting for this year for a LONG time.

BUSHIE will finally be out of office. I am counting down the days.

8 is my favorite number.

I am now well into my thirties.

Bryan and I are going into our second year together.

I hope this year brings us many good things. We are ready for some positivity. Things have been difficult lately, although NOT impossible. We both have positive attitudes and are ready to move even further away from all the negativity that has surrounded us for so long. Now that we are in Florida, we realize that we really should be back up north, so we are slowly but surely preparing for a move closer to Michigan, although we will never again live in Michigan. (I think it's one of the only states in a recession right now.) We are thinking about Cincinnati, Ohio, Northern Kentucky area. This gives us something to look forward to.

This is my year for self improvement. I intend to shed the rest of this weight, get healthier, and tackle some personal issues that I need to take care of. I also intend to continue my education and FINALLY get into a field that's stable, doing something that I truly love. Recruiting is a great job, but in this market, it's hard to convince a client to pay me a fee for finding them an employee that they can find on their own for free. It's sad, but it's just the way the country is right now. When you're paying damn near $4.00 a gallon for gas, it just doesn't make sense to pay a headhunter to do a job you can do on your own. I am going to finish my degree (finally) and get into the medical field so that my family never again has to worry about money or finances. The last two years have been very hard, full of pitfalls and lessons I learned the hard way, so now I'm ready to just take it easy on myself and go full speed ahead on self improvement. The last two months have been fairly difficult for us. I developed an ulcer and have some other health problems. While they're not serious, they are the result of years of neglect, eating bad, smoking, and my little off and on drug binges. I am still a big proponent of weed, but I am taking a break from it for several reasons.

I am really looking forward to all the changes that are ahead for us. Bryan and I are growing closer by the day and it looks like marriage may be in the distant future..maybe in another two years or so. A lot of people ask me when we are going to have children. The answer to that is NOT RIGHT NOW. Even though my biological clock is ticking loudly, and I find it necessary to remind him of that fact, neither one of us are ready for the full time responsibility of taking care of an infant of our own. We love spending time with Isabella and Ro-Man, as I call him, and that satisfies my mommy yearnings for now.

This year Bryan is going to finish high school. He is only half a semester away, and then he is going to try and pursue his passion for music behind the scenes. He is looking forward to learning a trade so he doesn't have to take crap jobs anymore, and I admit it will be nice to supplement my income with another income bracket closer to mine. He is a hard worker and faithfully pays the bills, and now he is recognizing his need for more spending money. The only way he can do that is to educate himself.

Alexa enjoys being in a bigger school, and she is involved in volunteer activities, which she seems to really enjoy. Right now her favorite thing to do is to volunteer at a local nursing home, reading to Alzheimer patients. I am proud of the young lady she is becoming, even though her mouth sometimes gets the best of her.

We have our bad moments when we don't think we will make it. I still struggle with my bipolar disorder and depression, but there is no longer any kind of substance abuse issue and hasn't been for a very long time. Moving to Florida seemed to diminish Bryan's need to party all the time....he seems to know now that it's time to grow up. And even though I sometimes crave mood altering substances, I am strong willed enough to avoid it altogether. I feel that we have too much going for us to ruin it now. Everything is not peaches and roses every day, but the point is that we have learned our lessons from the past and we are not making the same mistakes over and over again.

2006 was our beginning year. If I had one word to describe it, I would call it HELL. 2007 was our year of trials and tribulations. Literally. And 2008 will be just as I described it...the year of the Bowailey.

With Love,
Mz Bowailey